The Dangers of Riding in Elevators

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I walked unsuspectingly inside the elevator. Three smiling men were talking and obvious friends. Another woman and I figured out whether the floor we needed was lit up on the number pad, then the doors closed. Right away, one man turned to us and said, You two are ladies, then turned to his friends and said, I bet they'd know.

I thought to myself, What could these perfect strangers need to know from me?

These guys then proceeded to explain how they had been arguing over grammar--more specifically whether or not it is proper to say Me and Steve went somewhere or if it is better to say Steve and I... My next thought was Do I have some grammar sticker across my forehead or what??? And my very next thought was Wow, I never knew men talked about grammar outside of school? What I said out loud (once the other woman said she believed the second choice was correct) was that Steve and I is the absolute correct way to say it. Then the questions started flying. The one who was right appeared quite satisfied but had more questions, and the other two actually attempted to continue arguing after my definitive reply. I most decidedly shut them down. I mentioned my English Teaching major status and how I just know. They piped down, asking hows and whys, so I gave a short elevator version of usage differences in subjects and predicates, as well as a mini {elevator} lesson on the difference between Grammar A and Grammar B. Then, as the elevator door opened I summed things up, leaving them open-mouthed and stunned by my mad grammar skills.

Mind you--this occurred in the space of three minutes or less. I can hardly fathom how fast I must have been speaking. It was probably some world record or something. Insanity.

My deepest gratitude goes out to my mother for ingraining the basics into me from a young and tender age as well as to my Grammar Teaching instructor, Dr. Deborah Dean, who taught me all I know about how to teach grammar to others. Without their lessons, mad skills would have been mediocre guessing.


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